The American Condition Remains Unstable.
Archive
Full chronological record. 19 filings.
DepartmentPolitics
FiledJohn Herring
The United States government concluded that the central purpose of the modern state is not infrastructure, defense, housing, education, disaster relief, affordable fuel, healthcare or the job market. It is ballrooms. …
DepartmentAI
FiledJohn Herring
Staff at national valuation firm Wayland & Whateley reported Monday that a calendar invite labeled “Quick Sync” was multiplying out of control inside the company’s scheduling system, forming what one senior appraiser described as “a widening administrative zone.” The original invite was a 15 minute meeting with no agenda and no owner which first duplicated …
DepartmentPolitics
FiledJohn Herring
California lawmakers will vote this month on a new bill introduced in response to criticism surrounding AB 2624, after legislators concluded the existing privacy law did not adequately address the state’s most persistent remaining vulnerability: Nick Shirley existing and having a valid license. …
DepartmentBreaking News
FiledJohn Herring
A small art collective calling itself the Fentanyl Players is staging still-life photography across sidewalks and parks by costuming people locked in the city’s familiar standing fentanyl stupor. Members of the troupe drape period clothing, adjust props, and tuck symbolic objects into subjects’ arms and waistlines while they remain upright, motionless, and unaware.
DepartmentHistorical Deep Dives
FiledSenior Editor
While many adults dismiss “6-7” as meaningless internet slang, the phrase has a historical origin younger students learn in High School. The phrase confuses adults because of declining educational standards in America, where most people can’t find modern Greece on the map, let alone name a lesser known Greek politician who lived 2000 years ago. …
DepartmentCrime
FiledJohn Herring
An 11-year-old boy was briefly pursued through a Pennsylvania Family Dollar this week by a black bear that wildlife officials now believe may have been responding to prolonged economic displacement. Initial reports described the bear as “agitated but focused,” moving quickly through the seasonal aisle before pausing near a display of heavily discounted snack foods. …
DepartmentBreaking News
FiledSenior Editor
A newly released set of internal Pentagon documents indicates that the boats struck in a Yemen operation earlier this year were carrying unlicensed Fuggler plush units, including variants previously barred from commercial distribution. The leak includes correspondence from Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who instructed staff to find drugs in “the dead guyses [sic] boat.” Hegseth’s …
DepartmentBreaking News
FiledJohn Herring
Media analysts confirmed Tuesday that TikTok now functions as the primary news delivery platform for millions of Americans, surpassing traditional outlets by compressing global events into 27-second videos filmed from front-facing cameras. According to the Digital Literacy Forum, users now receive updates on war, inflation, climate events, and nuclear tensions from individuals standing in parked …
DepartmentEnd Of The American Experiment
FiledJohn Herring
President Trump referenced the idea of people being “hung” today, prompting an immediate nationwide administrative ceremony in which the phrase was folded, labeled, laminated, and placed gently into the government’s “Locker Room Talk” drawer. The process, practiced and efficient, begins when a politically alarming phrase enters public space and is immediately softened by analysts using specialized …
DepartmentCOVID-19
FiledJohn Herring
This Silicon Valley start-up claims that their app helps people get through illness, natural disasters, and stress, while creating sustainable jobs for families in low-income countries. At American Standard news, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, so we asked Chad Bradenson, the product director for Ryte, for a private demonstration. Bradenson explained that he and his …
DepartmentExclusive
FiledJohn Herring
Halyna Hutchins is a Ukrainian cinematographer and journalist who was reported to be fatally wounded in a shooting incident during production on the set of the film Rust but she claims she is alive and well and the accident was staged. Hutchins spoke out Sunday about her exaggerated death from an airstream trailer in an …
DepartmentLegal
FiledMalachi Pasquino
A lawsuit filed in Federal Court on behalf of North American deer…
DepartmentLifestyle
FiledJohn Herring
Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has found over $14 million in spending to preserve pubic lice. Former President Joe Biden’s claimed that his administration's infrastructure bill would “set the United States on course to meet its climate goals, create millions of good-paying jobs, enable more Americans to join and remain in the labor …
DepartmentCOVID-19
FiledJohn Herring
A newly released quarterly report indicates that Piscataway, New Jersey based plumbing fixtures manufacturer American Standard (no relation) saw unprecedented profits in the summer of 2021. The reports provided to investors this Thursday reveal the company’s roaring success: gross revenue is up 54% compared to the second quarter of year largely due to nearly doubling …
DepartmentLifestyle
FiledMalachi Pasquino
Archers flock to a local golf course to kill geese at the behest of fed-up groundskeepers.
DepartmentScience
FiledJohn Herring
Scientists at the University of Auckland in New Zealand have discovered fundamental genetic markers of scathing wit in the ancient DNA of Neanderthals (Homo sapiens neanderthalensis), the subspecies of archaic humans who lived about 40,000 years ago. These markers predate the equivalent in samples from ancient humans (Homo sapim sapim), leading the researchers to hypothesize …
DepartmentBreaking News
FiledMalachi Pasquino
The recording features more than two dozen farts, the opening of 8 carbonated beverages, the sound of urine falling on dry leaves…
DepartmentScandal
FiledMalachi Pasquino
Water Agency staff hosted pool party in the last 5k gallons of potable water in the county.
DepartmentPets
FiledMalachi Pasquino
Local pet owners are frustrated that area veterinary clinics are not taking new patients due to the high demand.