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American Standard News

The American Condition Remains Unstable.

Department

End Of The American Experiment

Late-stage experiments in power, decline, and the paperwork that accompanies both.

4 filings

A grand old ballroom with gold chandeliers, white columns, and round reception tables under a coffered ceiling.

DepartmentPolitics

A New Cold War, But With Chandeliers

FiledJohn Herring

The United States government concluded that the central purpose of the modern state is not infrastructure, defense, housing, education, disaster relief, affordable fuel, healthcare or the job market. It is ballrooms. …

Five people in Union Civil War uniforms on a sidewalk; four lean forward on upright rifles with heads bowed, one bends at the waist with a rifle on the ground; brick wall and street behind them.

DepartmentBreaking News

Fentanyl Players Stage Historical Tableaux Across San Francisco

FiledJohn Herring

A small art collective calling itself the Fentanyl Players is staging still-life photography across sidewalks and parks by costuming people locked in the city’s familiar standing fentanyl stupor. Members of the troupe drape period clothing, adjust props, and tuck symbolic objects into subjects’ arms and waistlines while they remain upright, motionless, and unaware.

A bear walking an aisle inside a discount retailer.

DepartmentCrime

Bear Enters Discount Retailer After Being Priced Out of Regional Grocery Chains

FiledJohn Herring

An 11-year-old boy was briefly pursued through a Pennsylvania Family Dollar this week by a black bear that wildlife officials now believe may have been responding to prolonged economic displacement. Initial reports described the bear as “agitated but focused,” moving quickly through the seasonal aisle before pausing near a display of heavily discounted snack foods. …

Black-and-white night photograph of a noose hanging over a crumpled American flag on a wooden platform.

DepartmentEnd Of The American Experiment

Trump Casually Mentions Hanging People but Experts Assure Nation It’s “Just Locker Room Talk”

FiledJohn Herring

President Trump referenced the idea of people being “hung” today, prompting an immediate nationwide administrative ceremony in which the phrase was folded, labeled, laminated, and placed gently into the government’s “Locker Room Talk” drawer. The process, practiced and efficient, begins when a politically alarming phrase enters public space and is immediately softened by analysts using specialized …