Real "Stop Nick Shirly Act" Up for Vote This Month
Hey, Can I See Your Kids (Threshold Study)
Filed as a meme and as a legitimate photographic artefact. Subject approaches a childcare threshold under a self-authored speech bubble while wearing enough cameras to constitute a small municipal CCTV budget. Desk notes: do not crop the bubble; it is the exhibit.
SACRAMENTO — California lawmakers will vote this month on a new bill introduced in response to criticism surrounding AB 2624, after legislators concluded the existing privacy law did not adequately address the state’s most persistent remaining vulnerability: Nick Shirley existing and having a valid license.
AB 2624 expands address protections for immigration support providers. Critics argued the law could make it harder to pretend to investigate organizations on YouTube.
The new measure, officially called the Stop Nick Shirly Act, attempts to resolve those concerns by placing limits on how Shirley may conduct them.
Under the bill, Shirley and Shirly-cats would be prohibited from:
- Yelling “millions in taxpayer money” at buildings with tinted windows
- Comparing enrollment numbers with numbers on fast food receipts
- Standing outside a daycare long enough to be included on the daily attendance sheet
- Treating government grants like MrBeast briefcases containing $40 million
- Declaring fraud confirmed before locating the correct suite number or realizing what time things close
- Assuming nonprofits have a Scrooge McDuck-style money room behind reception
Legislative analysts said the bill became necessary after discovering that California privacy law still permits citizens to become suspicious when seeing a locked door.
“We’re closing a regulatory gap,” said Assemblymember Denise Harrow. “Nobody anticipated someone would simply drive around pointing at random buildings.”
The legislation would also establish a Department of Shirly Containment, authorized to issue Shirley corrected addresses before he publishes videos from unrelated dental offices.
California has budgeted $6.2 million to determine what time it is and where Nick Shirley is currently standing.